I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow.

Emotional honesty moment right here: Right now, my body image has plummeted. Plummeted pretty much to one of the lowest points it's been at in a while. I've always said I don't understand how girls can hate themselves so much, why they obsess about their weight... well, here I am, walking in their shoes. The whole "God made you beautiful, just the way you are" argument is seemingly lost on me right now, which is rather unfortunate because when I hate myself I feel like I'm hating on God, too, because he created me in his own likeness.

When I'm depressed, I tend to seek comfort foods. I know I'm not alone in this! But when I do that, it just fuels my weight obsession and low self-worth. It's this vicious cycle, and at this point I feel a little lost within it. As I look in the mirror, I see so many things I want to change about myself that it makes me nauseous. But why?

If I even falter in the slightest in the way I see myself, I immediately start plunging down a slippery slope. I start feeding myself all these lies that I know aren't true but I can't help believing, like I'm fat or ugly or people don't actually like me, they just pretend to. These thoughts consume me, and I just don't know what to do. Right now I'm going to turn to the Bible, and we'll see where that takes me. God tends to be full of surprises, and maybe I'll find what I'm looking for.

By the way, I'm not seeking affirmation about the way I look, I'm merely stating how I feel. No number of worldly compliments can change the way I see myself, so please don't take it upon yourself to try to restore my self-confidence! Thanks. =]