A Day is Coming That Won't Fade to Night

My life feels like an endless countdown. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what I'm counting down to. There's always that next thing in line that I have to get through, and I'm constantly thinking to myself "I just have to get through this... just (x) more days and then it'll be over." The problem is, once I've overcome that hurdle there's another one I arrive at. Or, if there's a particular day that I'm looking forward to (for example, Thanksgiving break) then once that day is over, I'm not sure what to do with myself. That's when I start searching for another day to look forward to.

I know I'm not the only person who experiences this; I just wonder if there will ever come a day when everyone like that will realize they don't live in the moment and will just snap out of it. Living in the past or in the future is not how you enjoy life. Life is a collection of moments carried out from day to day that accumulate into what we can only hope is beautiful. If you're focused on something that's going to happen in the future, chances are you'll miss out on something even more spectacular happening right next to you.

This is all so easy to explain in words, but seems so much harder to actually live out. We get so weighed down by the struggles of everyday life that we obtain our perseverance through what we expect will happen tomorrow. What if that perseverance came from within, only from a sheer drive to come out the other side stronger and more prepared for greater strife that might come later? Better yet, what if we just handed it all over to God and let him help carry the burden and trusted he would take care of everything? Yes, we must live for the eternal life God has prepared for us in Heaven, but at the same time we must take each day as it comes and experience the world He has created merely for our enjoyment and his delight.

I only hope I will remember that every day because it seems to slip my mind more often than I would like to.

Oh to be a kindergartener again!

There's no doubt that I haven't loved a job more than the one I have now. It doesn't even feel like a "job" but more like I just get to play with kids all day and get paid for it. =] All the driving might be a hassle but it's totally worth it; God has really blessed me.

This morning was entertaining from the start, because Alicia came in with a scarf draped over her head that reached all the way to her shoulders, so Mark was calling her Jar-Jar. Nathan was being his usual bundle of trouble, but I think it's because he's so young and just needs some attention. He wanted to be included in our game of chutes and ladders but wanted to jump to the last 20 squares without going through any of the beginning spaces, so we just let him "win." Apparently when he wins he also expects his piece to be the only one on the winning space for the rest of the game, and if anyone so much as touches it he became extremely upset.

The Childs pre-k was just as fun as last time; they were listening to music, dancing in a circle, and playing instruments when I came in. We played hot potato, ate lunch, and watched a video about farm animals because a family will be bringing some farm animals to their school tomorrow for the elementary kids to see.

After-school we were moved to a different room for study hall because the chess club needed to use our room to meet (the popularity of the chess club absolutely astounds me). A table of sixth-grade girls won the pizza for the week for being quiet, and they had quite a time deciding what kind of pizza they wanted to get. Initially, their final decision was half feta cheese with spinach and onions and half sausage (which ping kept messing up/forgetting every time she went up to tell nick, and she plus her whole table couldn't stop laughing), but nick threatened to get them a cheese pizza if they made it too complicated. So the final verdict was just plain sausage.

Extended day the kids were incredibly rowdy because it was a rainy day and they had been cooped up inside all day, which was to be expected. Regina mentioned to me that the other day Ekansh had told the other kids he was Indian, and one of the boys said "No you're not! You don't bring your bow and arrow to school every day!" I couldn't help but laugh at that one. I played chess with Tatyana (a tiny Kindergartener with a big attitude) and she beat me in just a couple of short minutes! The rules had slipped my mind and she was supposed to be "teaching" me how to play, but neglected to mention how to win/protect my king until AFTER checkmate. How embarrassing, but at the same time amazing that these children are so brilliant. =] Her brother drew a heavy amount of red and black marker all down his arm to make it look like a nasty wound, but that's another story.

Where you lead me I will follow

It's been awhile since I've updated, and I feel like it's about time. This summer really separated me from the outside world by having no cable and very limited internet, so I never got to write on my blog. I've got a lot of things to unload; let's see how this goes.

Being apart from a community of believers this summer was so incredibly hard but also was an opportunity to test the strength of my faith. There were several times when I fell so far short of the expectations I set for myself, but at the same time I also got multiple opportunities to share my faith with people and discuss beliefs, which was awesome. Just wearing a necklace with a cross on it really changes the way many people see you, which I never realized until I spent the summer with a sampling of people from all over the world.

Something that made me really nervous was one girl who admitted to me that she knew I was a Christian and said she basically watched my every move to determine what parts of her life she should improve to live "the straight life." I am by no means perfect and although I know I don't have to be perfect I still felt a lot more pressure to be a real role model... and it made me wonder if that's the way most people feel but they just don't say it?

One guy asked me about the ichthus on my cross necklace, and another asked me about some specific stories of the Bible. The second guy said he knew I was a Christian because of the things I did/didn't say, the things I did/didn't do, and basically how he noticed I live my life. Is it really that obvious? It's kind of cool and kind of unnerving at the same time because people are watching what choices I make! Hopefully the choices I make will impact the lives of those watching me in a positive way, plus open them up to discussions of faith. =]

Probably the coolest interaction was with an international girl literally minutes before I left the park for good; she saw my necklace and asked me if I was a Christian and if I believed that the stories in the Bible are true. I got to share with her some of my thoughts and also peaked her interest about reading the Bible. Hopefully she does get to read it because she said she wanted to read the stories and practice her English. Unfortunately I did not get the chance to really talk to her in-depth about it, but I am SO glad I got to have those few minutes with her!

Now on to what's going on in my life at the moment!

I started working at my new job today with the School-Age Care Program, and needless to say it's probably one of the best jobs I've ever had. The children are amazing and hilarious and so full of life-it's almost hard to believe I used to be their size. One boy in the before-school program, Nathan, is in Kindergarten and is a bundle of energy. Workers are constantly having to tell him not to do certain things, bu at the same time we can't help but laugh at him. The honesty of a child continues to leave me in awe! Nathan went to the bathroom and came back, and when one of the girls I work with asked him if he had washed his hands, he would not give her a straight answer by both shaking and nodding his head. She told him to go back and wash his hands, and he promptly ran back to the bathroom to wash the offending hands. Older kids would have probably lied and said they had done it, but he couldn't lie to her!

I love kids so much!!

When I went to work with the pre-schoolers at lunchtime, I was definitely thrown into a completely different environment than what I am used to. They didn't even have the program in school but were in a house next to the school, so they lived in their own little world. Each of them was bursting with things to say about what was going on at home, and each of them wanted to hold my hand, get hugs, and for me to play with them and look at the things they made. One boy is only three and asked for a lot of attention, but the ladies that run the program said it was the first day he had actually eaten lunch there since he started coming to pre-k over a week ago. I was glad to be there for that important step in his life, because he has finally accepted that his parents aren't going to be able to come pick him up at any second that he wants to see them.

After school, I worked with my biggest group of the day with the most diverse age groups. A game arose about an hour and a half before the end called "the cheese touch" which is basically like tag but is a "moldy cheese touch." If you cross your fingers, you are safe from the touch but if not you better run for your life! Otherwise you are cursed with the touch and are expected to attempt to pass it on.

What surprised me the most out of the entire day was the kids' interest in chess! I had a kindergartener showing me how to play because I had forgotten how... and a couple of first and second graders helping him teach me! I'm not sure that I've ever felt so dumb before, but at the same time I'm so amazed and impressed with their intelligence! This school also offers Spanish, French, and German clubs, but the chess club is the most popular.

Lastly, I just want to say that I am really pleased with the direction that the Bible study that Trina and I are co-leading is going in. Tonight the girls really seemed to bond and get to know each other better, which makes me happy. =] They appeared to enjoy the activity of decorating sugar cookies and the brief study we covered, plus they shared a lot with each other so I'm excited to see how things go as the year progresses.

Hope I get to keep updating soon!

I gotta pocketful of sunshine.

Alright, so I have an assortment of random things to mention all in one post, so here goes!

First of all, another weird fear of mine (since I've mentioned several in the past) is of small steps in a set of stairs. At Rachel's graduation on Saturday, we went to Assembly Hall, and I just so happened to be wearing some very tall heels (maybe 5-inch). If you've ever been to Assembly Hall, you know what I'm talking about; those steps are TINY. As a young woman with rather large feet, I have to take special care when I go down stairs as it is, because oftentimes I might overstep and trip. This problem was amplified with tall heels and noooo railing to clutch as I wobbled down the steps. My remedy? Shoe removal. The concrete might have been disgusting, but it was better than falling down the steps allllll the way to the bottom! I was still nervous, though, even without the shoes. That is a hazard and they should definitely put in railing of some form!

On a completely separate and different note, I bought a concordance today! My very first, and I am so excited! Hopefully I'll be able to dive more into the Word this summer with it and God might reveal some really cool things to me. Only 175 hours until I leave for Yellowstone! I can only hope and pray that I might find the courage and strength to remain steadfast in my faith this summer and share God's love with the people around me. I'm going to be constantly interacting with strangers, so this should be a good opportunity for me to be better about coming out of my shell!

IU Bluebells! Photography by Chelsea. =]

"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you."

I am fully aware that this semester has not been my best academically as I write in my blog a mere 9 hours away from my biology final exam. I've followed a strict studying regimen in the past, but this year I've really embraced the idea of taking life one day at a time and trying to live it to the fullest, so oftentimes I find myself doing something really fun with my friends instead of spending hours writing that essay that everybody is worrying about. This isn't to say that I haven't been doing my schoolwork, but I just haven't put in as much of my soul into it because when I did I discovered a lot of frustration and disappointment when I didn't get the grade that I wanted.

In the end, do grades really matter? I'd like to think not. As long as I pass and I enjoy my life in the process, I'm set. I don't see the point in making myself miserable over schoolwork when there is so much out there in this world to experience and in such a short time! Really, a lifetime isn't all that long; it's like the blink of an eye in the expanse of eternity so there's no sense in wasting the one life you have to live. Take advantage of the time God has given you on this Earth, because it's not going to last forever.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

It's the final countdown!! Only three exams left, and three essays to go! Then I'll be going home-sweet-home for a little under two weeks and then heading out West to Yellowstone for the summer!! I have a feeling once I'm on that plane and officially flying to Montana is when I'll probably start freaking out, but hopefully I'll be able to keep myself emotionally stable, haha.

There are no words to describe how overjoyed I am to become a bible study leader next year for freshman girls with my good friend Trina; I just know God will be doing some amazing things in the lives of the people around me next year and I can't wait to be a part of it! It is such an honor to be given the responsibility of a leadership position, and I just hope I won't disappoint! Hopefully the Lord will reveal some good stuff to me this summer as I study the Bible more in-depth and prepare my heart to lead.

Today in church as we were told the stories of particular persecuted missionaries overseas I really got to thinking about what I want to do with my life. I thought about my mission trip to New Orleans and how much it opened my eyes to the suffering world around me, and I think it would be such an amazing experience and so beautiful to share the word with people in such dangerous places for Christians as India and China. To honor God like that by risking your life to share the message with those who are in the midst of both physical and spiritual suffering is so amazing and I greatly admire those people who are willing to do that. Hopefully I will be just as willing once I am out of college, because I definitely feel God moving in my heart to do something to help this movement.

Outside of Beck Chapel, Bloomington. Copyright- me!

Weirdisms

I realize I have some fairly strange quirks, so I feel like mentioning a few because I started out by mentioning some in my first blog.

-I can't STAND open doors at night. I have to close all the closet and pantry doors at night because they freak me out if they're open. Not completely sure why, but might be because I'm afraid someone might be watching me... very conspicuously. haha.
-I can eat pico de gallo, ketchup, and tomato soup, but I still can't bring myself to like sliced tomatoes.

more to come later, I suppose.